My name’s Acuity, but my friends call me Cutie. I’m an online scheduling tech company, and I’m 10 and 3/5ths years old. But that’s, like, 30 in software company years.
Hobbies include: craft beer, using finger guns in a completely non-ironic fashion, adult coloring books (don’t act like you don’t have one), and helping businesses of all sizes manage their busy schedules. Pretty niche, I know.
“Why managing schedules?” you ask? Well, I like to help people. I guess you could say I take after my dad that way. His name’s Gavin and he built me from scratch almost 10 years ago! Can you believe it?––A whole decade!
And that brings me to what I’m doing all this for…
See, my full name is Acuity Scheduling––and no, it’s not one of those weird celeb baby names or anything. I’m a tech company. And right now, I’m looking for my ride-or-die, go-to, right-hand PHP App Developer, whose main role will be developing the core of Acuity Scheduling’s newest product, Lungo.
I’m going to describe a human, and if it sounds like you might be the human I’m describing, you should contact me. And you should probably attach your résumé.
So, let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?
- You’re an experienced PHP developer with a hunger to make your mark (but please don’t actually bite us)
- You have experience with Laravel (we use 5.6)
- You’re familiar with GraphQL, and will be comfortable writing GraphQL APIs
- Bonus points for React experience
Beyond brass tacks, here are the softer edges of the gig:
- You’re a rare breed developer AND human, which means that you don’t actually burst into flames upon being exposed to sunlight, and you’re actually pretty darn great at communicating with other people. (This will be important, because all of our employees, no matter who they are, will spend time hanging out in customer service land, getting to know the product they’ll be building.)
- You write good… unlike this bulletpoint.
- You’re the bomb dot com at solving problems. In other words, you won’t run from the challenges—you’ll plough straight into them like a champ. Or a developer who loves the thrill of tracking down that one mischievous OOM exception.
- And last but certainly not least, you’re innovative. Because what would a job description be without “innovative?”
- You live on planet Earth.
And by the way? These other qualities would probably help bucketsfull:
- You’re in favor of having 100% of your medical, dental, and vision premiums covered.
- 401K is your middle name. (Or if you just really like the idea of having 3% of your salary contributed to one.)
- You’re an autodidact. Go on. Look it up. (You’ll get a $5,000 credit toward continuing your education.)
If this description sounds like you, there’s a chance that I’d like to offer you $80k-125k. Straight up cash money. I mean, it’d be in exchange for your professional services each year, but still.
Write me. Or, you know, fill out the application that my dad, Gavin, will review personally. You can count on it. Which is nice because they tell me that good men are hard to find these days.
Cutie AKA Acuity Scheduling